Shouting obscenities

So, today I have an almost overwhelming desire to shout obscenities. Not at anyone, just...to do it. I don't know why.

I can't believe I'm leaving for Texas for my wedding and stuff NEXT Saturday. GEEZ. Talk about something happening FAST. Good GOD.

Veil wail

So, I tried to make my own wedding veil, because they're so expensive. I have made a total of three. It's a lot harder to make a veil than you would think. I finished the one that I thought would be THE one today, and it sucks. I have spent so much time on it, and yet it still ended up badly. It's very frustrating, and I think I'll end up going without a veil after all this wasted time. I'm just so sick at how much time I spent on making it, and yet it ends up looking like.....well, it just looks bad. UGH.

Not talking about the wedding....at all.

Okay. So, I'm so stressed out. And I really don't know why, because at other times, when I have been in relevantly similar situations, I was WAYYYY behind and yet I didn't feel HALF as stressed. I think I'm addicted to procrastination. This semester, I've really been doing all the readings, and I've been analyzing and highlighting and underlining, and taking my time with my papers. I've been pretty careful. I start my reading and papers days before they are due. I'm being the 'good student' that I'm supposed to have already been. I've even been pretty good about keeping to my exercise schedule (but that's just because I'm worried about my wedding pictures). But with all this....doing everything I'm supposed to do, I feel even more stress. I keep thinking even as I type this that I should be working on one of the million things I have to do. I feel guilt if a day goes by where I didn't get at least one assignment done. I think the problem is that even though I've been pretty well on top of all of my work, I still feel behind. I still have tons to do, and I thought that if I worked really hard, the work would somehow dwindle, and I would feel more rested. It's a LIE. I feel even more stressed out, because now I expect EVEN MORE WORK FROM MYSELF! It's a VICIOUS CYCLE.

On to another subject. I've been listening to rap on my drive home lately. I got tired of my normal radio stations, because they play the same songs over and over, and worse, a lot of the songs they play I just don't like. And I don't feel like listening to the news. So, I decided to change it up, and it's....kinda funny, actually. For some reason, it's refreshing to hear about people wanting to bust caps in each other's asses and not sugarcoating or using cute little euphemisms for sexual behavior. I think I'm going crazy. I must be. Sigh.