Everything is dying.

First my fish. Now my car. My car is dying. The people at Midas said those words that every car-owner fears: transmission. And not just "transmission fluid." Rather, "the problem seems to be something in the transmission, and we will need to take it out to figure out exactly what it is." All I know from my very limited experience is that whenever you hear the word transmission, it means this: $$$$ + Completely dead car one year later. I did not authorize the operation for my car. Michael and I are fast coming to the conclusion that it would cost more to fix it than the car is actually worth....so now we are keeping our eyes open for deals on used cars and we have decided to limit the use of my car. I think I'm just going to start walking. Yeah. Walking five miles to school everyday. Unlike a car, which wears down with much exercise, my body will actually get better with exercise. So, yeah. That's what I should do. Bleh. No, I'm not serious. I'm just going to hitch a ride with Michael for a while.

Eh.

Well, I didn't update this when it happened, but the day after my last post, my fish died. I decided to make another post, because I am always troubled when my most recent posts are depressing. In any case, Phineas is dead and I do not have any plans as of yet to replace him.

I've been bad about wasting time lately (look at what I'm doing now, when I should be translating German, ick). I recently purchased the Sims 2 Pets expansion pack, and have been playing and playing. It is ridiculous. I have also been re-reading Jane Eyre. It is SUCH a good book. Every time I read it I cannot believe how good it is. It has been on my mind a lot lately, because the BBC did a four part miniseries of it recently, starring Toby Stephens as Mr. Rochester, and an unknown (I think her names is Ruth Wilson) as Jane Eyre. It was VERY good. I rewatched it with Tina this weekend, and we ate copious amounts of sweets and drank way too much tea. It was awesome.

Speaking of entertainment, do not waste your time seeing Marie Antoinette. I went to see it this last Friday with some of the women from the philosophy department, and we all deemed it a disappointment.

I am getting better. I finally went to the doctor about my lingering cough, and it is definitely clearing up with the medications I am taking. Hopefully I didn't damage my recovery this morning by going out with my hair wet (it was a bit cold), but I really hate it when I can't get a parking space in my little gravel lot that I have discovered. Well, I've rambled on enough for now, I really must get back to work.

My Dying Fish....

So...my fish is dying. For some weeks now, I have noticed that he is bloated, and he has been getting progressively worse over time. I have expected him to die any day, and today he is definitely showing signs of dying. He is not dead yet....his gills are still moving a little, and if you move the bowl, he will move around a little, but he is swimming erratically. I feel....bad for him. I thought he was pretty old for a betta, but there are differing numbers regarding their average lifespan. Either way, I think I've had him for about one and a half to two years....maybe a little less. It seems longer than that, but it really can't be. I feel bad....I probably didn't take the best care of him. I try to convince myself that he was already half a year to one year old when I got him (and thus lived about three years, one of the average lifespan numbers), but I still worry that I could have taken better care of him. In any case, it is too late now.

To Bike or Not to Bike....

I am out of my apathetic mood. Yay! I am seriously considering purchasing a bike. Michael thinks I won't ride it very much, and since I'm inclined to agree that such a thing is possible, I don't plan to spend all that much on one. I think I would ride a bike more than I would play an electric guitar, so that is something. Plus, one of my neighbors would like to purchase a bike and ride as well, and one of my friends already does own a bike and wants someone to ride with. So....this could work out!

I think riding a bike would be a good source of exercise, even if I didn't ride explicitly for exercise. It also seems like it would be more fun than walking. I need something like that, because I think I've gained five pounds and it depresses me. I don't want to buy new clothes unless they are smaller. I get very depressed going shopping for bigger clothes. As a result of this recent suspicion of weight gain, I feel the need to engage in fun sources of exercise (things where I am not constantly reminded of the fact that I am exercising). My neighbors don't have as much time to play tennis anymore (they both work at jobs that have cut out our time for tennis), and I'm not good enough to play with anyone else. But I can bike all by myself if need be. I don't know.

In another effort to lose those pesky five pounds, and possibly more, I keep reminding myself that I should eat to live, rather than live to eat. I find this is easier to do if I remind myself that there are lots of people who are starving...this makes me feel guilty, and I only eat enough to get full, which is much less than I normally eat (though I don't send money to those countries or anything, so I'm still being rather selfish). As an added impetus to eat not only less, but healthier, I remind myself that three of my grandparents contracted adult-onset diabetes from their poor eating habits.

Ah.

So. I have a sinus/allergy thing going on now. Yeah. Maybe I'm dying. Maybe I'm weak, and I'm being selected against. I don't know. All I know is that I'm really, really bored with the whole coughing and altered voice thing. I still don't want to go to a doctor, because....I just don't. I'm stubborn, and only use doctors for special occasions. Month-long colds don't count....yet.

Michael and I recently purchased some Halloween candy (we buy it twice in the month of October, once at the beginning of the month, and then again toward the middle), and we are enjoying it very much. I'm excited about carving a pumpkin, but I need to think of what I shall carve.....I want to do something complex and cool. It is one of the few artistic things that I still do (but only once a year). I never can bring myself to sketch anymore, or even to make my silly comic strips. I haven't sketched in....years. Slightly depressing, that fact.

I also still want to play guitar. I wonder if I would be any good at it? Maybe I'm not cool enough to play electric guitar. Maybe playing electric guitar would make me cool enough to play electric guitar? Maybe I'll join my neighbor's air guitar band in the meantime.

I guess I just feel....well, apathetic. About everything. I think I need vitamins. Or sleep. Or healthier food. Or exercise. I need something.