So I think I'm in one of those moods in which I take exception to just about everything. I'm pretty sure I am, because I've been arguing with my mother-in-law for several days about an article I posted on Facebook, and I keep seeing people I generally like posting things that irritate me. It's difficult to deal with these moods without ruining friendships, so I'll bask in the secluded nature of this corner and vent a little.
I'm going to talk about smugness. It happens to the best of us. I love the movie
Bridget Jones's Diary (and the book), and the scene when she's dealing with smug married people is always a little painful. I hate that she flounders and doesn't feel confident or whole in a group of paired-off people. And until I had a baby, I didn't have any idea that there was a whole other group of people--the smug childless people. For any parent, you know the ones I'm talking about. Whenever you are obviously happy or excited about your child, they are the ones who generally bring back the conversation to how much sleep you are not getting or how stinky the diapers are.
I wonder if the reaction they have is because they think parents are smug? Maybe some parents are. I don't know. I rarely feel smug about my parenthood--most of the time I feel like I'm blundering about like an idiot. In any case, here's an observation: if your primary arguments against having children are that you don't want to deal with diapers or with a lack of sleep, then obviously you shouldn't have children.
Obviously. In fact, you probably shouldn't have a pet, either. Those produce waste that often has to be picked up or taken away, they get sick, and on occasion they keep you up at night, too.
Look--there's nothing wrong with not wanting to have a child. I once felt that way, too! But here's the big difference--I didn't act like a smug asshole about it. I didn't gloat about my childless, simpler existence to my parent friends. And I didn't act like they were objects of pity all the time, either, or like they ceased to exist as people and simply became these entities that existed only for their children, EVEN if they talked about their children a lot. If I'm misremembering and I did that to anyone, I authorize you to tell me that I did, and I will apologize to you--because it's SO annoying to be treated that way.
I have a young child, and I don't get as much sleep as I once did, that's true--but so what? Sleep is nice, but having my baby is a lot better. Even in the midst of waking up in the middle of the night because she's rolling around and kicking me in the back, I look at her in complete wonder because I can't believe that I was able to produce something so absolutely beautiful and amazing. I'm content to watch her sleep because she is endlessly fascinating to me. I love her more than just about anything else in this world. In the face of feeling something like that, an uninterrupted night's sleep, in comparison, is overrated.
